#51: A Joke About Phones
Major telecom companies, including Verizon and AT&T, aided the Bush administration in a highly disputed domestic spying operation, according to a recent hearing with National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell. Americans, however, remain surprisingly ambivalent. In a recent Quinnipiac poll conducted for Buildings and Food, those surveyed rank the subject of spying fourth amongst their wireless concerns, behind cost, reliability, and Hurricane Chris’ Ay Bay Bay ringtone.
Filed under: Bush, Law, Technology | Leave a Comment
#50: A Joke About Breasts
According to a recent study, cancer is five times more likely among women with extremely dense breasts than in women with fattier tissue. The results have drawn the ire of skeptics who have pointed out biases amongst the researchers at Johns Hopkins University, who are known in the medical community as serious chubby chasers.
Filed under: Medicine | Leave a Comment
#49: A Joke About Chicks
In a recent interview, ABC’s Diane Sawyer asked the sixteen women currently serving in the Senate if there would be less war if there were more female senators. They said, “Probably, but instead we’d just emasculate the Axis of Evil with our constant nagging.” Am I right, fellas?
Filed under: Congress, Gender, politics | 1 Comment
#48: A Joke About Narrative
The Washington Post will be running serialized fiction on washingtonpost.com, a first for the paper. This is not a first for the print news industry, however, as the New York Times ran serialized fiction on their front page for years.
Filed under: Media | Leave a Comment
#47: A Joke About Tacos
An E. coli outbreak that has sickened atleast 22 people in the state of New Jersey has been linked to three Taco Bell franchises. According to health inspectors, however, they’re still the three cleanest Taco Bell franchises in the country.
Filed under: Business, Health | Leave a Comment
#46: A Joke About Straight Talk
Senator John Mccain (R-AZ) made a surprise appearance at the annual meeting of Republican governors held by fellow 2008 presidential hopeful Mitt Romney. When pressed for comment, Romney said “I’m not upset that he came, or that he lavished my fellow governors with thousands of dollars in free alcohol, but I am slightly perturbed that he choose to slap me in the face with his penis while I slept.”
Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment
#45: A Joke About Studies
Early reports are saying the the Iraq Study Group will recommend a gradual withdrawl of Coalition troops in Iraq. The president is expected to ignore this report, like everything else he’s ever encountered with the word “study” in it.
Filed under: Bush, Iraq | Leave a Comment
In the aftermath of Borat, a real life Kazakh TV crew has found it difficult to film a documentary covering the recent Ohio elections. This isn’t because people are expecting some kind of similar elaborate prank, but rather the crew reportedly had trouble with the state’s “round on the ends and ‘hi’ in the middle” geography.
Filed under: International, Television | Leave a Comment
#43: A Joke About Frist
Outgoing Senate majority leader Bill Frist (R-TN) has announced he will not be seeking canidacy for the Republican 2008 presidential nomination. In related news however, he has setup an exploratory committee to help find his dignity.
Filed under: Congress, politics | Leave a Comment
#42: A Joke About Moms
A study by the Radiological Society of North America has found that sitting at a 135-degree angle is better for your back than sitting at a 90-degree angle, contradicting mom’s advice to “sit up straight.” This comes on the heels of a study that disproved your mom’s assertion that there are plenty of people that would be lucky to date a guy like you. There aren’t.
Filed under: Medicine | 1 Comment
#41: A Joke About Secret Prisons
A report released today shows that EU nations knew about secret CIA prisons in Eastern Europe, despite initially denying such claims. This is incredibly surprising to Americans, considering that at today’s exchange rate, 1 European lie is worth 1.31 American lies.
Filed under: Europe, International | Leave a Comment
#40: A Joke About Kramer
The Reverend Jesse Jackson called for a boycott of the latest Seinfeld DVD in order to exact economic punishment for Michael Richards’ racial remarks. Industry experts predict that the studio could lose as much as $49 if the African American community follows through on the boycott.
Filed under: Celebrities, Television | Leave a Comment
Libyan Leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi created a stir at a Nigerian airport when his 200 heavily armored female guards refused to give up their wepons. Eventually, the issue was resolved with the bodyguards being granted the right to carry a limited number of handguns. When asked about the incident, Nigerian officials were “relieved” stating, “at least he didn’t blow up any airplanes this time.”
Filed under: International | 1 Comment
#38: A Joke About Narration
Morgan Freeman will be launching Clickstar, a movie downloading startup, later this week. The project was very well received by investors not for its business plan, but because people really like listening to Morgan Freeman talk.
Filed under: Business, Celebrities, Technology | Leave a Comment
#37: A Joke About Iraq
UN Secretary General Kofi Annan warned that Iraq was on the verge of a civil war. The 3,700 people who were shot, stabbed, blown up or beheaded in sectarian violence in October in Iraq couldn’t be reached for comment because they were dead.
Filed under: International, Iraq | Leave a Comment
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg called Saturday’s questionable shooting of three men in a bridal party just hours before a wedding “unacceptable.” Later in the day he called the vandalism of the city’s mascot Hank the Hot Dog “tragic.”
Filed under: Crime | Leave a Comment
#35: A Joke About Drinking
ABC News is reporting that the US Embassy in Argentina is suggesting that the Bush twins leave the country. Surprisingly, this isn’t about the twins drinking all of the booze, but security concerns. But really, its about the booze.
Filed under: Bush, International | Leave a Comment
#34: A Joke About True Love
Actress Pamela Anderson and her musician husband Kid Rock have reportedly filed for divorce. Sources say they will have joint custody of the Hepatitis C.
Filed under: Celebrities | Leave a Comment
#32: A Joke About Chocolate
A recent study by researchers at Johns Hopkins University revealed that a little chocolate every day can help reduce the risk of heart disease, just like asprin does. Unforutnately, if you only ate a little chocolate every day you wouldn’t be so fat.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Recent Entries
- #51: A Joke About Phones
- #50: A Joke About Breasts
- #49: A Joke About Chicks
- #48: A Joke About Narrative
- #47: A Joke About Tacos
- #46: A Joke About Straight Talk
- #45: A Joke About Studies
- #44: A Joke About Battleground States
- #43: A Joke About Frist
- #42: A Joke About Moms
- #41: A Joke About Secret Prisons
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