Archive for November, 2006
#43: A Joke About Frist
Outgoing Senate majority leader Bill Frist (R-TN) has announced he will not be seeking canidacy for the Republican 2008 presidential nomination. In related news however, he has setup an exploratory committee to help find his dignity.
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#42: A Joke About Moms
A study by the Radiological Society of North America has found that sitting at a 135-degree angle is better for your back than sitting at a 90-degree angle, contradicting mom’s advice to “sit up straight.” This comes on the heels of a study that disproved your mom’s assertion that there are plenty of people that [...]
Filed under: Medicine | 1 Comment
#41: A Joke About Secret Prisons
A report released today shows that EU nations knew about secret CIA prisons in Eastern Europe, despite initially denying such claims. This is incredibly surprising to Americans, considering that at today’s exchange rate, 1 European lie is worth 1.31 American lies.
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#40: A Joke About Kramer
The Reverend Jesse Jackson called for a boycott of the latest Seinfeld DVD in order to exact economic punishment for Michael Richards’ racial remarks. Industry experts predict that the studio could lose as much as $49 if the African American community follows through on the boycott.
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Libyan Leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi created a stir at a Nigerian airport when his 200 heavily armored female guards refused to give up their wepons. Eventually, the issue was resolved with the bodyguards being granted the right to carry a limited number of handguns. When asked about the incident, Nigerian officials were “relieved” stating, “at [...]
Filed under: International | 1 Comment
#38: A Joke About Narration
Morgan Freeman will be launching Clickstar, a movie downloading startup, later this week. The project was very well received by investors not for its business plan, but because people really like listening to Morgan Freeman talk.
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#37: A Joke About Iraq
UN Secretary General Kofi Annan warned that Iraq was on the verge of a civil war. The 3,700 people who were shot, stabbed, blown up or beheaded in sectarian violence in October in Iraq couldn’t be reached for comment because they were dead.
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New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg called Saturday’s questionable shooting of three men in a bridal party just hours before a wedding “unacceptable.” Later in the day he called the vandalism of the city’s mascot Hank the Hot Dog “tragic.”
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#35: A Joke About Drinking
ABC News is reporting that the US Embassy in Argentina is suggesting that the Bush twins leave the country. Surprisingly, this isn’t about the twins drinking all of the booze, but security concerns. But really, its about the booze.
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#34: A Joke About True Love
Actress Pamela Anderson and her musician husband Kid Rock have reportedly filed for divorce. Sources say they will have joint custody of the Hepatitis C.
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#32: A Joke About Chocolate
A recent study by researchers at Johns Hopkins University revealed that a little chocolate every day can help reduce the risk of heart disease, just like asprin does. Unforutnately, if you only ate a little chocolate every day you wouldn’t be so fat.
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